Yes I am a Control Freak Perfectionist

Yes I am a Control Freak Perfectionist

Oh yeah, I am a control freak. I like to think I am not as bad (or getting better) as when I was younger but I know who I am… Or at least I try to. Natalie Goldberg said in Writing Down the Bones:

Of course you can sit down and have something to say. But then you must let its expression be born in you and on the paper. Don’t hold too tight; allow it to come out how it needs to rather than trying to control it.

MDragonwillow Clouds wide
Photo by Morgan Dragonwillow

That is part of my problem when I come to the page whether it is for a blog post, poetry, memoir, or a story.

I always have expectations of what I want to say. And in my mind it always sounds better than when I read it on the page.

Oh those nasty expectations. Without them we may never be disappointed.

I am working on a new habit which is reading something inspirational, to me or my writing, first thing in the morning before getting right onto my laptop and digging in for the day. One, it seems to put me in a better mood and two, I am finding it is giving me fodder for my blog. Of course the key is going right to creating a new post and not saying, “I just want to check…”

I bring this up because this morning I was reading Writing Down the Bones when I came upon that paragraph above. Of course I went right to, “Let me just check…” At least this time I made it here. This time I actually wrote down what I wanted to say. Which is, let go of the control. We can work on it together. Let’s come to the page and not have expectations of what we are going to write. Let’s just write and see what happens.

 

PageLines- picture20193.jpgMorgan Dragonwillow: Writing rebel, stress relief explorer, recovering perfectionist, cooking as therapy, poet & author  that (mostly) doesn’t let her fears get in the way of her passion for writing and creating. She is team leader at @StoryDam, creatrix of #OctPoWriMo, and you can find her at, A Poet’s Kitchen, cooking up simply delicious meals. She lives in Marietta, Ga. with her loving and patient partner, their dog that thinks she’s a princess, and the cat that reminds her that she isn’t.
Find her on Google+

 

 

CreateSpace Cover for KdpPurchase Wild Woman Waking Now on Amazon in Paperback and EBook.

“Sometimes poets write what we wish we could say, and they tell us what we need to know. The poems in Wild Woman Waking lead us to a place where we can proudly refuse to be “bent and broken”; instead, they document a journey to self-acceptance, peace, and understanding – where in a community of women, we celebrate and dance as Mud Women. We become women of spirit and keepers of our own keys.” ~Beth Camp

 

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2 thoughts on “Yes I am a Control Freak Perfectionist

  1. I LOVE this post. I’m also a recovering control freak (If that is ever even possible.) My daughter put a note on my fridge that read:'”If you want peace in your life, resign as general manager of the universe.”
    I think she was trying to tell me something.
    Thanks for the reminder that to write is about writing and not expectations.

    • I’m glad you found this post helpful, giving up control is one of the hardest things for me. I hope you are more successful at letting go of it than I have been. Thanks for stopping by and sharing word love!

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