How Much Time Do We Really Have Left?

How Much Time Do We Really Have Left?

Sometimes your head and your heart don’t agree, okay usually most of the time occasionally the head will know or understand what the heart doesn’t or vice-a-versa. Logically I know that 50 is just another number and that I will just be another-day-older on my birthday but…

And that is a really big but!

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Photo by Morgan Dragonwillow

My heart, or my higher self or the universe,  is SCREAMING at me that I haven’t accomplished even a forth of what I wanted to by this age and let’s be realistic, people are beginning to drop like flies.

I have had more friends pass on in the last year and a half than I have over the course of my whole life (not to mention all of the people I don’t know and celebrities). AND they weren’t OLD! They were in their 50’s and 60’s – and some even younger than that. So logically it is possible that I only have a few years to a little over a decade left.

Yes I know none of us know the day we will pass on to the next life but seriously…

My Great Grandmother lived to be in her 90’s, my Grandmother is in her 80’s (she isn’t doing very well), and my mother is in her 60’s (she is only 16 years older than me and isn’t very healthy). In all likely hood I have more time than I think but I believe the key ingredient to living a long and healthy life is being happy, or at least content with your life. I am so not content with my life (and really I don’t even know a lot of people that are right now and maybe that is why they are moving on to the next life). That is why I started these blasted lists. That is why I am freaking out a LOT bit and trying to stay calm so I can accomplish what I want to accomplish.

Yes I know that what I want and what the Universe wants aren’t always the same thing but I’m determined to figure out why the heck I’m here and what I need to do to be more content with my life (besides writing my fingers to the bone and getting my books published as fast as I’m able).

Do you feel like that sometimes?

Do you feel like time is running out on what you came into this life to do?

Are you content?

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Row80 Check in

 

  1. Editing 5 pages a day of Mercury Retrograde – Not going so well. I did play around with some sample covers that you can see to the right.  I have decided to stop editing while Mercury is actually in Retrograde and use the process I have spelled out in the book during this shadow timing and take the time to reconnect to my soul and lighten my load. 

    Sample covers
    Which one do you like better?
  2. Writing 500 words a day – this is going pretty well.
  3. Reading a book a week – Still reading Recollections and Recipes, as well as Boon Dockers.
  4. Checking things off of my 50 things  list – It’s going rather slow. I think I need to print out the list and post it on my board so that I can look at it daily to actively work the list.
  • a. (technically this one’s not on my list but it should be) I have started doing a Gratitude Journal nightly of five things I’m grateful for to help me get out of this dag blam funk.
  • b. We took the girls to the Southeastern Railway Museum last Saturday.
  • c. And I took a selfie pic on the train ride.
  • d. Post with my list of all time favorite authors – Reading Makes a Difference, and this time I decided to write about reading before the list.
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Selfie on the train at the Southeastern Railway Museum.

That’s it for me, how are things going for you? Do you have a 50 things list that you are working on? Have you ever created a list of 50 things of any kind? If you haven’t I challenge you to create some of your own 50 things lists.

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11 thoughts on “How Much Time Do We Really Have Left?

  1. Do I feel like that? All the time! I HATE that feeling because half the time it ends up freezing me in place and I don’t want to go forward because if I don’t work on *whatever* then I can’t fail at it, can I?

    Like you said, nobody knows the day or the hour so the best thing to do is to proceed as you mean to go on and do your best.

    • Oh the, “if I don’t work on *whatever* then I can’t fail at it” I know this very well indeed. It is the perfectionist rearing its head. So many things I didn’t do when I was younger for fear of not getting it right. Here is to both of us having the courage to plow through what we desire and have a passion for and forgive ourselves for not being perfect.

      Thanks for stopping by Kathy and sharing your thoughts, I greatly appreciate it!

  2. If I look back now that I’m 70, I see places where I put paying the rent and buying groceries ahead of my writing. So now that I yet have reasonable health, my writing begins each morning, and I am truly happy. My husband’s health is not all that great, but we do cherish each day. Will I publish the three books I’m working on just now? Yes, the first one is out, the second one is nearly ready and will be self-published this year, and the third one is at the research stage. Inspired by your post, Morgan, I can say, “Know your dreams — and persevere!” If I find a few readers who like what I’ve created, that will be more than enough for me.

  3. Well, speaking from 20 years ahead of you – you’ll probably make old bones:) I am lucky that despite not having done everything I dreamed about as a child – I am content with what I have achieved in life.

    Sometimes though I think being too much of a perfectionist about the minor things can hold one back, obviously the books must be, however, that’s the advice from the total opposite of a perfectionist so I would prob ignore it if I was you:)

    Don’t be despondent, life is too magical for that – be proud of what you have done, who you do know. Enjoy the dreams, plan, but accept they may not happen. 🙂

  4. I find increasingly that I hold myself up to too many unrealistic ‘should’s. And it’s been a huge sticking point, so even 20 years behind you, I feel your frustration.

    But my own behaviour is all I have the right or the ability to change.

    I cannot will my circumstances to be different, though I can decide not to waste time fretting about them.

    I cannot behave in a way which will heal the sicknesses in my family, but I can choose to act in a supportive manner.

    I cannot affect any aspect of the past which disappointed me, but I can determine that I won’t let that disappointment take over my future.

    And it’s all SO much harder to do than it is to write.

    But to write is such a marvellous thing. And a way in which we can be wonderfully self-analytical and lay out all our tools on the workbench and take a good look. This I can do. And by the look of it, this is something you already do.

    What have you left to achieve?

    If I die tomorrow, what will matter is that I told the important people that I cared about them, today. Nothing else.

    • Hi Lizzi, I do believe this may be one of the longest comments on my blog, and I love that you took the time to share your thoughts with me.

      I must say that I am beginning to think that I have found another kindred soul as I found in Beth and a few others.

      I look forward to our future discussions, as I think they will expand me in ways I can’t fully comprehend yet but I know it to be so.

      To the journey.

      • You surprise me! But then perhaps not. Apparently I’m garnering myself something of a reputation for ‘Giving Good Comment’, but I honestly don’t see the point of skimming through a post and leaving something to the equivalent of “Hey, I read this. Nice job.”

        If I read, and something speaks to me, I want to get to know the person – the writer – better. You said you’re a person who likes interactivity and connection, well in this world, in the Blogosphere, I live for it. It’s what fuels me and fires me: people, in all their glorious messywonderfulness, keep me going. They fascinate and captivate and entertain me, and if I’m lucky, they talk back 🙂

        Future discussions sounds GREAT 😀 I look forward to it.

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