50 Years of Becoming – My 50th Birthday

“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.”
― William W. Purkey

Me
Me in my first year of life.

The quote above by William W. Purkey is something I strive for but don’t always feel like I hit the mark. Today is my 50th birthday and this past year has been all about reviewing my life. Most people feel turning 50 is a huge milestone, a turning point. For the person that is actually turning 50, they can have all kinds of emotions around it. I do. Part of me has really been dreading it. I felt like I had to say goodbye to so much of what I thought was part of myself, part of my identity, part of who I thought I was. In a lot of ways that is true. As I said in one of my previous “50 Things” posts on my web page there are many things I will never do again.

10 things you may not know about me that are part of my 50 years of becoming:

 

  1. My parents were 16-years-old and unwed when my mother became pregnant, my father was put in jail and my mother was sent to a home for unwed mothers. My great grandfather stepped in and said, “If those kids want to get married you should let them.” and offered a shack on his property where my parents lived when I was born.

  2. The first time I was molested I was five-years-old. I never told anyone until I was an adult because I knew they wouldn’t believe me.

  3. When I was seven-years-old we moved to Heidelberg, Germany and it was one of the saddest days of my young life because the two people I thought loved me the most (I know I loved them the most) were staying behind – my grandmother and auntie.

  4. During the four years that I lived in Heidelberg, Germany my nick name at school was Martian Michelle (one of the reasons I changed my name).

  5. I said “no” at 14 but it didn’t matter, he did it anyway.

  6. I was pregnant at 16-years-old just like my mother (except I was 17 when my daughter was born). Thankfully I broke the cycle with my girls, my daughter was 25-years-old when her first daughter was born.

  7. I came out to myself and everyone else when I was 32-years-old and the only people I was worried about telling, or finding out, were my grandmother and auntie. Turns out I did have reason to worry, I became uninvited to every family event after that.

  8. I stopped talking to both my parents years ago because they were too unhealthy for me and there wasn’t anything I could do to change it (yes I went to therapy but that doesn’t change their behaviors). Sometimes it is better to walk away than it is to continue an unhealthy relationship.

  9. I have worked very hard to, “Rise above my raising.” by going after my dreams. One large one – getting my books published.

  10. I am stronger than I thought I was and the evidence came out for me when I was writing, Enough is Enough.

Me
Me as a young mom with my first daughter.

Here are some of the things I am saying goodbye to:

 

  • keeping my mouth shut to make other people feel more comfortable.
  • not taking action when my soul says it’s time to make a change
  • abuse of any kind
  • people with poor boundaries
  • dying my hair (except possibly to a wild and juicy color like purple!)
  • listening to my inner critic

 

Here is what I am saying hello to:

 

  • loving with an open heart
  • keeping an open mind to new possibilities
  • to new experiences
  • doing more of the things I love
  • being a loving grandmother
  • exploring what it means to be a Crone.
  • deepening my spirituality.
  • taking my creativity to the next level

  • loving me just the way I am


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Me – this year at the beach.

I also know there will be unexpected experiences coming into my life and I choose to dance through every one of them!

 

Whether you feel young or old, or what stage of life you are in, I hope you choose to dance!

(My birthday was in July but I am choosing to celebrate my 50th all year long. It is a huge turning point for me and I hope you will choose to celebrate with me as well.)

Celebrate my 50th Birthday with me by helping me achieve my life long dream!  

Other ways you can celebrate with me:

  1. Purchase one of my books on Amazon.
  2. Send me an email, or private message on Facebook, telling me what being friends with me means to you, or how I have made a difference in your life, or a positive message you would like to share with me about growing older. morgan _ dragonwillow (@) hotmail . com

 

*Revised on 9/18/14

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PageLines- picture20193.jpgMorgan Dragonwillow: Rebel dancing with words, intuitive cook, recovering perfectionist, poet & author that (mostly) doesn’t let her fears get in the way of her passion for writing and creating. She is team leader at @StoryDam, creatrix of #OctPoWriMo, and you can find her at, A Poet’s Kitchen, cooking up simply delicious meals. She lives in Marietta, Ga. with her loving and patient partner, their dog that thinks she’s a princess, and the cat that reminds her that she isn’t.
You can find her at Google+

 

 

CreateSpace Cover for KdpPurchase Wild Woman Waking Now on Amazon in Paperback and EBook.

“Sometimes poets write what we wish we could say, and they tell us what we need to know. The poems in Wild Woman Waking lead us to a place where we can proudly refuse to be “bent and broken”; instead, they document a journey to self-acceptance, peace, and understanding – where in a community of women, we celebrate and dance as Mud Women. We become women of spirit and keepers of our own keys.” ~Beth Camp

 

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12 thoughts on “50 Years of Becoming – My 50th Birthday

  1. I’ve been thinking of you all week and hoping that you are having a good celebration, Morgan!

    It’s been a strange week on my end. I’m not up on astrology, but I’m just gonna blame the stars – ha!

    I am soooooo grateful for our friendship. It is wonderful to have someone who “gets” me creatively and is also deeply engaged in their projects, too.

    I bet that when we are 70, we’ll look back think about how much we’ve learned since we turned 50! 🙂

    • Hi Samantha, Lovely chatting with you as well! I wish my natural color is silver/gray, but alas, red hair fades slowly over time and tends to look like a dirty blondish/brownish/yellowish color with bits of gray woven through. Maybe by the time I hit 70 or 80 it will be gray.

      Thanks for the birthday wishes!

  2. 50… HA! You’re still a puppy! When I turned 60 I declared it the new 40 and still feel 20 (without the “stupid”) When I finally do die, they will have to pry my hair dye out of my cold, dead hands. Happy Birthday!

    • Sorry Jayne, I disagree. I haven’t been a puppy for many, many years. I am a grandmother and I claim it. 50 is/was a big deal for me and something I have been struggling with all year. I’m sure I’ll come to terms with it, at some point.

      Glad you feel so right with your age, dying your hair, and all of that. I will probably feel completely different when I turn 60, probably jump up and down and have a big party. But right now, it isn’t that for me.

  3. Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age. That’s what the French proverb says. I quoted it in my very first blog post (on my old LiveJournal blog), celebrating my own 50th birthday: http://ordinarytime.livejournal.com/tag/first%20entry. Dyed my hair platinum blonde that year – THAT isn’t ever going to happen again. I think you are splendid, and hope we both get to know each other better in the youth of our old age…

    • Oh I love that Paula, thank you so much for sharing that French proverb! Oh… platinum huh? I don’t like my hair lighter only darker so that is one of the hard things of my red hair fading and turning gray.

      Thanks for sharing word love and I look forward to getting to know you better as well!

  4. Your post really resonates with me today–I’m glad you chose it for #ArchiveDay on Twitter. I’m having a quiet restful attempt at self-acceptance kind of day and I’m very inspired by your words. HAPPY BIRTHDAY all year and thank you for your beautiful, courageous, and generous post.

    • Thank you Kelli, I decided to let more of my vulnerability show and share things about me that I don’t usually share. I understand the difficulties of the journey to self-acceptance, I’m still working on it. Glad my words inspired you.

      Breathing your words in.

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