“It’s what you choose to believe that makes you the person you are.”
― Karen Marie Moning, Darkfever
Somewhere along the way I have lost myself, lost the ability to believe in myself. I’m pretty sure I had it before and over the last 6 years I’ve lost what it means to know I can accomplish whatever I want to accomplish. I’m determined to get it back. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to believe in myself once more.
I didn’t hit 50,000 in my story and no this isn’t why I’m not believing in myself, it just had me looking deeper at how I’m living and feeling.
I discovered a black line on my thumb nail a few days ago and at first I just thought my nail was dirty. It wasn’t. And then yesterday the other thumb nail showed a black line as well. I did some research and none of it sounded good. That is when I realized I had lost my way and if I don’t drastically change my life, I will be continuing on the road to bitterness, jealousy, and anger which will lead to further bad health and misery.
- I am continuing to write daily both for myself and for my stories.
- I am giving myself a daily challenge of playing my flute, meditating, using Reiki and Karuna Ki (energy work) and eating healthy foods.
- I am going to be weaning myself off of sugar (I don’t think I can cold turkey it) and dance for exercise.
- I am going to learn to love myself again, although I’m not sure I ever really did but I know it is the most important thing that I can do for myself.
- I am getting rid of everything that no longer serves my highest good. I am giving myself the challenge to let go of a minimum of ten things a day.
Hopefully, by the end of December, I will believe in myself again and be making healthy choices for my life on a regular basis.
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Morgan Dragonwillow is a recovering perfectionist, poet & author that (mostly) doesn’t let her fears get in the way of her passion for writing and creating. She is team leader at @StoryDam and creatrix of #OctPoWriMo