Dance came first, the words came later. It was dance that freed my words, freed my soul.
I fell in love with words when I was eight years old. I didn’t know what a love affair it would be. How could I? I was 8-years-old. I just knew that the world of books and writing were an adventure I wanted to explore. I didn’t know that it would become one of my greatest sources of pain and – ultimately – one of my greatest joys.
“Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts”
As a child – painful words, words cracking open my heart and stifling my voice, my words, my creativity until I felt broken – I believed I wasn’t good enough to write or publish books (or anything else for that matter) for a long time. I even stopped reading for the most part because it was dangerous in my house growing up to be caught reading for any reason except for school.
I became a voracious reader as an adult with an unquenchable appetite for books. 50 of my favorite authors.
Growing up in a controlling household created a perfectionist within me that was always striving to get it right and perfect even though that was impossible, to a point that if I thought I couldn’t get it right the first time, I wouldn’t do it at all. I didn’t know that procrastination could be a sign of perfectionism, I was told I was lazy and believed it. Once I understood that it was perfectionism getting in the way, I began breathing through (and telling myself it was okay to make mistakes) one small creative thing at a time. Now I can create in many different forms without feeling like I am going to hyperventilate. If perfectionism interferes with your creativity, try this.
Words called to me, again and again, but for the most part I let fear stop me from writing until around 47-years-old. That’s when I said, “Enough is enough!”
I gathered my courage and allowed myself to get serious (and playful) about writing. As Hillel the Elder said, “And if not now, when?”
Stops and starts, pouring my heart onto the page, I began to find my voice.
I discovered I could say things within poetry that I couldn’t say anywhere else. I pour my blood onto the page for all to see and as I say in my poem, Where Do Our Words Come From:
“…but the words have a life of their own
they refuse to be still
moving from place to place
begging to be born…”
Poetry is… playing with your words until you breathe life into them.
Dancing has been an important part of my life since the first time I danced in my living room as a child (one of the few fond memories I have of my mother). When I began taking my writing seriously, I realized that dancing was a large contributing factor to how I connect-in to my muse, my soul, the universe or whatever you want to call it. If the words get stuck, I move to the music, I allow the music to move through me, and the words begin to flow again.
When I dance
the world falls away
possibilities come alive
my blood races through me
I am one with the music
with the earth
with my muse
with the universe
with the Divine
Music sets a mood for the dance, for writing – before during and after. As for writing, it pulls the words out and has them dancing onto the page.
What Inspires Me
Natalie Goldberg has been a major source of inspiration and has helped me to be more courageous in my writing. I turn to her again and again, especially her book, Writing Down the Bones. Thank you Natalie Goldberg, for your words, your thoughts, your struggles, that help motivate me to dive deeper.
My Writing Buddy
Finding a compassionate writing buddy is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your writing. I met Tui Snider when I started getting serious about blogging and then my writing. She has been a great source of support, understanding, motivating, cheerleader, and I don’t know what I would do without her. She listens when I rant and checks in with me to see how my writing is going. Her sunny smile and outgoing nature, that I am most grateful for, are a constant in my writing life.
You, who’s heart I know – who’s journey resonates with my own – it is for you that I share all that I do. If I can help you see clearly, find your voice, dance to your own tune, love with an open heart, I know my journey was not wasted on this earth.
Education and Experience
- 1987 GED
- 1991 Began exploration and study of alternative spirituality, Goddess spirituality, Wicca and energy work.
- 1993 Began women’s drumming and healing circles
- 1998 Graduated Swedish and Deep Tissue Massage
- 1998 Received training and attunement for Reiki levels I and II.
- 1998 Began Massage therapy practice
- 2004 Received training and attunement for Reiki Master/Teacher
- 2005 Began teaching Reiki
- 2006 Traveled and began facilitating Women’s Drumming Empowerment Circles
- 2007 to 2008 Rising Spirit Massage School with Certified Neuromuscular Massage therapy & Reflexology – Graduated
- 2007 Had a breakthrough around Creativity
- 2008 Passed the National Boards for Massage and Bodywork
- 2008 Received training and attunement for Karuna Ki I, II, and Master/Teacher
- 2008 Received training and attunement for InnerSpeak Empowerment and Facilitator
- 2008 DNA Activation
- 2008 Deeper connection to my muse around writing and creating
- 2009 Received training and attunement for Seven Rays of the Ascended Masters
- 2009 (Nine Months) Awakening the Shamanic Priestess Process with Anyaa McAndrew
- 2009 Awakening The Sexual Priestess (healing and transformative week long intensive) with Anyaa McAndrew
- 2010 Shamanic Magdalene Mysteries with Anyaa McAndrew
- 2010 Natural Rhythms 100 Series Home Study program
- 2010 Power of Sacred Dance Facilitator Training with Lisa Michaels
- 2010 Began facilitating Sacred Art of Manifesting Miracles
- 2010 Began teaching InnerSpeak Empowerment
- 2013 Published Dancing within Shadow
- 2014 Published Wild Woman Waking
If you would like to discover more about me:
Yes I am a Control Freak Perfectionist (and a Recovering Perfectionist)
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